Rose found out that the abuse that she is experiencing has an effect on her as well as her children.

(Information taken from the publication "Wife Assault Hurts Us All")

It is a fact that abuse by a partner affects women in many ways.

• It is difficult, sometimes, to cope with everyday things.
• It is difficult, sometimes, to have energy to complete different tasks.
• You may find yourself less patient with your children.
• You may find yourself physically ill and in need of medication.

This is not unusual for many experiencing abuse. You may be affected by abuse in different ways.

Self-Esteem

Our self-esteem or self-concept is a measure of how we feel about ourselves. Low self-esteem creates feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness, taking away the self-confidence needed to make decisions and to solve problems. When our own feelings and judgment cannot be trusted, solving even small problems becomes difficult. In many cases low self-esteem and poor self-concept may lead to depression. Depression is a medical condition that often requires medication or therapy to be effectively treated. Low self-esteem can also result in a disregard for personal appearance and health.

Feelings of Helplessness

In abusive relationships, the abusive man maintains control of his partner's actions by physically, sexually, and psychologically abusing her. If the assaulted woman tries to regain some control, the abuser may become more controlling. Her repeated unsuccessful attempts at stopping his violence reinforce her feelings of helplessness. As a result the assaulted woman may give up trying to break the cycle of violence.

Self Blame and Guilt

Many women are used to looking after the emotional needs of their family. When the emotional well-being of the family is suffering, as it does when abuse is present, the woman tends to blame herself and tends to believe she fails in her role to look after her family. Some women have hidden the abuse for years because of the guilt and shame they feel. The partners usually encourage this thinking by blaming the women for the abuse. This results in the woman falsely believing she has failed as emotional caretaker and that she causes and deserves the abuse.

Denying and Minimizing

Denying and minimizing abuse are two ways of coping with his violence, although they are ineffective. They increase the danger already present by encouraging the victim to disregard signals which can warn her of further assaults.

Abused women frequently deny being victims of wife assault and that a pattern of abused has been established. A false sense of responsibility for the violence and embarrassment prevents her from telling others about it. Other excuses can be made to explain away the violence and to renew hope for the relationship.

Minimizing abuse downplays its seriousness. Often women avoid accepting the reality that they are being abused by comparing themselves to others who have to endure more extreme acts of physical and psychological abuse. Their own situations then seem much less serious and much less dangerous.

Drug and Alcohol Abuse

Victims of wife assault suffer from stress and tension. Many abused women turn to drugs and alcohol to avoid confronting their abusive situations. Continued use of these substances leads to dependency for many women. Substance abuse adds to the assaulted woman's problem. The abused woman who tries to deal effectively with her substance dependence and her violent situation at the same time is easily overwhelmed.

Alcohol and illegal drugs are obvious examples of abused substances, but abuse of drugs given by doctors accounts for much of the substance abuse among women who experienced violence. Sleeping pills, pain killers and tranquilizers are the more commonly abused prescription drugs.