Rose was told that her experience has an effect on her children. The following information discusses some of the effects.

Rose needs to know that the Child Welfare Act of Alberta (R.S.A. 1985) states that "a child is in need of protective services when there are reasonable and probable grounds to believe that the survival, security or development of the child is endangered". The Act clearly defines three major areas of neglect and abuse: emotional, physical and sexual.

WIN House Study

During 1985 WIN House (a shelter in Edmonton for abused women and their children) sponsored a project that looked at the problems of children who live with wife assault. Of the 336 children who accompanied their mothers to the shelter, most were found to have been abused in some manner. Nine out of ten children between 13 and 18 and two-thirds of the infants were seriously abused or neglected with one-third of all sexual abuse victims being boys. One-half of the abused children displayed behavioural and emotional problems severe enough to require referral to treatment agencies.

Children need not be physically or sexually assaulted to be hurt by wife assault. Those who witness violence in the home are also victims.

Children Who Witness Wife Abuse

(Courtesy of Karen Nielsen, M.Ed, RSW, The Family Centre, Edmonton, Alberta)

How children are affected by witnessing wife abuse depends on a number of factors such as their age when the abuse began, how mom coped, and what help and support the child and mom received.

Infants

• During the crisis, the baby's routine can be interrupted, causing the baby stress.

• An abused mom may have difficulty coping with a baby's demands at this time.

• The baby may not form a healthy emotional connection with either parent, and so may grow up with many severe psychological problems.

• The baby may tend to sleep poorly, scream excessively, have poor health, or fail to thrive.

Pre-school and school age children

Children deal with the stress of witnessing wife abuse in two ways: they hold it inside (internalize) or they express it (externalize).

• A child may learn the role of either the abuser or the victim and act out these roles. They may, for example, use aggression to solve problems with others at school. Children as young as 2 years old have been observed to act out adult violence they have witnessed.

• Boys are more likely to be aggressive, while girls more frequently act out their stress and anxiety by having health complaints (head-aches, stomach aches) and by passive, dependent behaviour (they get "picked on" and don't stand up for themselves assertively).

• Children who witness wife abuse often have low self-esteem, feel anxious and fearful much of the time, misunderstand the actions of others, become withdrawn and confused, and have difficulty getting along with other children.

• Preschoolers tend to yell more, be more irritable, stutter, shake, rock, have nightmares and other sleep disturbances.

• Children under 10 years tend to blame themselves and believe that they are the cause of the violence.

• In general, young children who witness wife abuse are less able to solve personal problems in assertive and healthy ways.

Adolescents

• Boys may become abusive in their own dating relationships. Girls may accept abuse from boys as a normal part of having a boyfriend.

• Teens may act out in aggressive or delinquent ways. They may run away, assault their mother and younger family members, attempt suicide, abuse drug and alcohol, and/or perform poorly at school.

• Teens frequently assume parenting roles in their family and assume the role of protector. They become "too old, too fast" and don't get to enjoy their teen years.

• Children 11 years and up don't usually blame themselves for the violence, but they don't necessarily assign responsibility to the abuser either. They may excuse him and side with him because he has the power in the family. They may feel angry with mom for not protecting herself.

When the parents separate or dad stops his violence

• When the children begin to feel safe, they will often talk about the abuse or draw pictures of it. This is their way of dealing with it and making sense of it. This is normal and healthy behaviour and should not be stifled.

• If the parents separate, the children often have mixed feelings. Even though they are relieved to be safe, they may also feel sad and miss their father. It is important that children are told that it is alright for them to have conflicting feelings.

• They may look to mom for extra attention and reassurance. This can be a very difficult time for mom because she has so many of her own problems to deal with. It can be helpful for her to join a women's support group so she can get the help she needs. She and the children may be helped by having counselling together, and the children may benefit a great deal in a children's group.

• We do know from studies that children from violent homes can do well as adults if they finish growing up in a loving, nonviolent home. It also helps if they are exposed to non-violent and non-abusive adult role models from outside the home. A major deciding factor in recovery is that mom and children receive support.